Archive for the ‘public speaking courses’ Category

It’s not PC mad

When we hear that the world has gone PC mad, what does that mean?

Usually, it means we are no longer able to call people what we want – we have to take into account what they may think about the words we use.

I don’t think that is a bad thing.

As always, I’d love your thoughts on this here.

Cheers,

Darren


Michaelia Cash – Oh no! Not Twice!!!

Senator Cash said some dumb things in Senate Estimates on Wednesday. Unsubstantiated slut shaming is never a good look. We all stuff up. But the way she handled it means she stuffed up twice and will hurt her government in the process.

In the heat of battle it can easily cross the line – it seems right at the time, but on reflections we know it was wrong. It’s how you handle it that shows your true character.

What voters expect

We don’t expect our leaders to be perfect, but we wont accept them being cows either. We know they are human and are bound to make mistakes – we all do. Cash made an error of judgement and could have responded completely different and it would not be dragging on and drowning out the governments message, dragging other ministers into the mess and giving ammunition to political foes.

How to handle stuff-ups

When you stuff up (and we all do) the first step is to stop digging the hole. The further you entrench yourself in the position the harder it is to deal with later (as she is finding out).

The easiest way to do this is to apologise and withdraw. Apologise and withdraw without qualification. Cash did not do this. She said, “If someone has been offended I withdraw the comments”. This tells us that she stands by her comments if no one is offended. She would rather be right than happy (her version of right)

The power this gives you

When you apologise it takes the steam out of the attack. Anything that is said by those against you can rightly be shown to be all about the attacker. If the issue is again raised what can it achieve? Nothing. If the opposition escalate it to ask for Cash to resign there is a credible defence that you would not sack someone who has such integrity to apologise the moment they realise they have made an error.

Will it be easy?

No – but it will be easier. Apologising on the spot may cause a few hours of embarrassment and shame (rightly so), but this will be nothing compared to having to arrange a whiteboardto run behind to keep out of the eye of the media.

It is our pride that feels it will be hurt fi we apologise, But as the old saying puts it, pride goes before a fall.

The unintended benefit

Apologising gives you strength. It shows you to be the bigger person. In 2006 Kevin Rudd apologised for visiting a stipe club in New York and his popularity went through the roof. Same for Bob Hawke. More recently, Nick Xenophon apologised for a major stuff up in his health budget calculations and the problem went away quickly.

We all stuff up once in a while. The way we handle it determines if the impact is short or sustained.

As always I’d love your thoughts here.

Cheers

Darren


Let Them Speak

Everyone has an opinion they want to share. (You just have to look at the pointlessness of Twitter to see this). It helps us feel heard and connected to our community and tribe. Abraham Maslow described this as one of our basic human needs.
As a leader it’s your job to let them share their opinion.
Your challenge is to ensure that they don’t take too long, do it in the right place and understand that they don’t have the final say. This will drive connection and this will in turn drive your ability to influence.
Are you up for that challenge?
As always I’d love your thoughts on this here.
Cheers,

Darren


Relocation of blog

This blog is now being continued on my new website www.darrenfleming.com.au/blog.

See you there  :)


From No to Yes – sales presentation

Between no and yes sits maybe. It’s the step that makes change palatable.

What maybe are you including in your presentations to make it easier for the audience to change their mind?

As always would love your thoughts on this.

Cheers


Confidence is B.S

Confidence comes when you know you will be successful. If you don’t know that you will be successful you can’t have confidence.

What you need is courage. Courage to take the next best step. When you do that, you move forward. Eventually you reach a point where you know you will be successful, and you can have confidence.

The trick to having courage is to install a process so you know what to do next. When you know what to do next, and then next, and then next and then next again you end up with confidence.

Whether you are delivering a presentation, selling a product or fixing a car, if you don’t have a process…buy one.

Cheers

Darren


Of Course You’re Nervous

The number one fear people have when speaking, selling their services or asking someone out on a date is that they are nervous. For some it can be debilitating and others just mildly distracting.

Of course you’re nervous – you’re human.

Nervousness is an adrenaline rush and serves to prepare us to perform. Without the correct amount of nervousness you’re going to fail. The secret is to harness your nervousness so you can perform without it distracting you.

Like most things in life – It’s a balance

Cheers

Darren


How Your Leadership Style is Perceived: Leader, Imposter, Enemy or Loser?

The way others perceive you and the way you think about yourself will determine why people follow you.

Leadership can be looked at from two perspectives. The first is you – do you see yourself as a leader? The answer is yes or no. The second is your followers (staff, superiors, market etc). Do they see you as a leader? Again it’s yes or no.

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If your followers see you as a leader, and you carry yourself as one, they will perceive you as a Leader. It’s a case of your followers saying that they want someone else to take control and make decisions. You see yourself as that someone and fill the need they have. This is what everyone wants.

If you’re not in the Leader quadrant you will have trouble.

If your followers see you as a leader, but you don’t carry yourself as one, they will perceive you as an Imposter. It’s like the team leader who has been promoted from within but won’t take charge for fear of not being liked. The Imposter is the sales person who goes to see a customer but won’t lead the sales call. The customer is not interested in doing the sales person’s job and won’t see them the next time they come back.

Where you have real problems is when the followers don’t see you as a leader.

When the followers don’t see the person in charge as a leader, but that person carries on as though they are, then they are seen as the Enemy. It’s the motivational speaker who comes out after lunch and says, ‘We’re having a great time – let’s do some star-jumps’ and the audience thinks, ‘No – you’re a tool!” It’s the sales manager who declares, ‘This month we’re going to get budget! Why? Because we’re just going to get it!’ There is no grounding in reality and you get lots of push-back. This is the most dangerous place to be.

The final place is where no one sees the person in charge as a leader. Here they are simply perceived as a Loser. It’s a case of the followers saying “I don’t want to listen to a message you don’t want to give’.

Levels of Engagement

The Loser has to deal with disengagement. No one is listening – but that’s not usually a problem as the person in charge is not speaking.

The Enemy has to deal with disinterest. They could be giving out next week’s PowerBall numbers but the followers don’t care because they think the leader is an idiot.

The Imposter is dealing with disillusionment. The followers want to follow or buy but are not getting the guidance and leadership they want. This is why good staff leave poor managers and reliable customers start looking elsewhere.

It is only when you are perceived as the Leader that you get engagement. Here people want to listen to what you have to say. In this position you have influence and can sell more. This makes your life easier. You’re happy because you’re getting budget. Your superiors are happy because you’re doing your job. Your followers are happy because they are getting the leadership they want.

From Imposter to Leader

Over the last dozen years of working with senior managers I have seen that about 90% of people hold themselves in the Imposter position. They want to be the leader, but are afraid that if they step up they will be seen as the enemy.

The key to stepping up from Imposter to Leader is courage. Do you have the courage to take the next step in the process? Don’t look for confidence and that is often too far down the track. Have a plan to follow and have the courage to take just the next step in the process.

How have you found working for Leaders, Imposters, Enemies and Losers? Leave your comments below.

Cheers

Darren


The Problem with Corporate Stories

Humans are hard wired for stories. Stories are how we share information from one person to another. The Aborigines have been writing them on walls for 40,000+ years, Hollywood is based around telling stories and all religious texts are full of them.

But there is a problem with them in the corporate world.

While we need stories in the corporate world, there is one thing we need before them – a reason to listen.

If I don’t know why you’re telling me a story, why would I listen…or keep reading your newsletter?

Just because you have a great story does not mean I will give you my attention, listen to it or read past the first three lines of your e-mail.

I have to know what is in it for me – otherwise I will switch-off or delete your e-mail.

Cheers

Darren


Don’t sack the mistake

The 2016 Census was by all accounts a debacle. The day after it, in an apparent show of leadership Prime Minister Turnbull said that heads would role over the incident.

Why would you do that?

We all know that we learn more from our losses than our victories. What will throwing out all those valuable lessons give the ABS? A new group of people who learned the lessons from a book.

​​​​​​​‘Heads will roll’ might get the headline, but not a better census count.

Cheers

Darren

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